When my own mind condemns me….

Can I make a confession?  I haven’t thought much about Easter at all this year.  Not until last week when it was pointed out to me when I went back to work in retail after about three weeks off due leave of absence.  I was so disappointed in myself not realizing it all.  This is the time of year I choose to do my own Lent of giving something up (my church doesn’t do this but I love how it would help me focus in on God.)  I did not even think about it the past several weeks.

My focus has been on helping my husband navigate through two surgeries and many doctors to deal with his health issues. We are still trying to get into the correct oncologist/endocronologist.

In my head I heard myself begin to tell myself what a bad “Christian” I was not to remember that it was the celebration of Christ’s death and resurrection.  Condemnation. Ugly lies.  My own judgement about myself is harsher than any other person could do.

In the midst of the guilt I heard a faint whisper deep inside reminding me, “No, this is not true.”

Christ knows my heart and intentions.  He has been the one carrying us through the surgeries and all the trials, tears, and fears.  I have seen his faithfulness.  I have felt it.  So many friends and family helping us. The  TRUTH is that God’s grace is enough to carry me.  His love is enough.  He loved me so much he died for me.  He rose from the grave for me.

He lives!  He has shown himself to me in so many tangible ways.  It reminds me of the hymn ‘Because He Lives.’

Because He Lives Lyrics

(Verse 1)
God sent his son
They called him Jesus
He came to love
Heal and forgive
He lived and died
To buy my pardon
An empty grave
Is there to prove
My Savior lives(Chorus)
Because he lives
I can face tomorrow
Because he lives
All fear is gone
Because I know
He holds the future
And life is worth the living
Just because he lives(Verse 2)
How sweet to hold
A newborn baby
And feel the pride
And joy he gives
But greater still
The calm assurance
This child can face
Uncertain days
Just Because he lives

(Chorus)

(Verse 3)
And then one day
I’ll cross the river
I’ll fight life’s final war with pain
And then as death
Gives way to victory
I’ll see the lights
Of glory and
I’ll know he lives

The TRUTH  tells me that I have no reason to fear our future.  Even though it is uncertain God is in control.

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9 thoughts on “When my own mind condemns me….

  1. Yes, Yes He is enough…every way, at all times. He is risen and adores us. I am learning each day, as I am real good at considering myself not good enough too. May we walk in His path for our lives.

  2. I’m glad you realized that you do NOT have to condemn yourself for anything; Christ already took our condemnation, the beauty of Easter! The Lord knows that you’ve been consumed with loving Matt—that’s the best sacrifice you could make during Lent after all. Blessings to you, Katie!

  3. I appreciate your recognition of the negative self talk, Katie. I struggle with it so often, myself. I also like hearing that the Spirit’s whispers of truth can be heard above the lies. Thank you for sharing.

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