For the last eight or so years we have struggled to get an accurate diagnosis for my husband and his many symptoms. For many years we have been sure it was his heart issues. But then when we finally had a monitor full time in his chest as a small little chip the symptoms were not always matching. Back to yet another doctor. More tests more scratching of the head trying to figure it out. Frustration!
Finally they found something. Goiter from thyroid down below the sternum pressing on the windpipe and nerve going to his heart. We had it removed. They left part of it in as they biopsied the rest that was removed. Two biopsies came back inconclusive. We received a phone call last week, a week after the first surgery.
CANCER was found we need you to come back tomorrow for surgery. Back to the hospital. Whirl wind fast. Finally we have some answers. Not the answers we wanted but we know. Removed the rest of the thyroid. Names of more doctors to call to see if it has spread at all. The type he has can spread from organ to organ. Shocked we just took the next step.
Needless to say the stress of the last several weeks has been so much. Not the answer we wanted. But an answer. Finally after years of not knowing. And only time will tell if it is the only answer. Will the surgery we had relieve the symptoms he has had. Again only time can answer that question.
Through it all I see God’s hand in the many prayers that have gone up from so many of our friends, family, and strangers they have told to pray for us. During the first surgery it was put off due to emergency situation. My sister’s church had been praying for us. They asked how surgery went that morning. Her husband spoke up looking at his watch, actually it is going on right now. The whole group that was there stopped what they were doing and prayed for us during the surgery that was suppose to be 2 hours that went to 6 hours. They are not the only ones who I know has prayed for us, but when she told me this it brought tears to my eyes.
The first surgery I had so many people come to support us. The second surgery was the same with friends and family coming to support us. Each time our friend and pastor came to see us and pray for us. Our church organized some meals for us.
My friend Bonnie over at Faith Barista has been praying and emailed me encouragement since we found out. So many well wishes and prayers have been posted on Facebook. Psalm 139 popped up over and over that day.
Today’s was the first time in forever I actually made it to church on a Sunday, since I work retail, I work most Sundays. It is just the way it is in retail. I still do Bible Studies during the week. At church I just sat singing the praise songs, with the lights turned down, the Music Minister had a song, not sure exactly the name of it but it fit perfect and spoke deep to my heart. He read the passage, “My help comes from the Lord.” Psalm 121:2 and we sang the song. I just sat and the tears that had been bottled up from the stress just came. I cried out HELP! My friend came over and sat next to me hugging me and praying for me. It was exactly what I needed. To let some of it out. Not be strong but to say to God that I needed Him and His help to deal with it all.
I am still exhausted and there is still a long journey in front of us. One step at a time. One thing at a time.
Thank you God for all the tangible ways you have shown your love. Through your people. Through your Word. Through surrender. My HELP comes from YOU!
Edited to add: The song is “Always ”