So much swimming through my head: Matt’s chronic health issues, work, daily living stress like (rent, bills, food, cleaning). Sometimes I feel all I can do is barely keep my head above water. I can’t seem to get it all done and life feels chaotic.
Yet God continues to remind me to depend upon him like in Matthew 6 where it tells us not to worry that HE provides. (Sorry I don’t have link still working on learning how to do things on a laptop, like copying and pasting things to link in passages). The thing that worries me most is Matt’s illnesses. I can’t seem to help it. I love him with all my heart.
God has a plan even if I can’t see it. He is in control. I am not saying he is the cause of Matt’s illnesses. I am saying that HE meets me where I am at. He is here with me in the midst of the turmoil and worry.
Confession time, I am NOT a good worrier. When I am anxious, I tend to start to snap and get angry. Somehow in my mind it is better than crying. I try hard not to snap or yell, but it still happens. Sometimes I do good and other times I do not. I want to be in control. I want to be able to make it all better. When I can’t is when I start to worry. Yet my husband give me grace. He still loves me regardless. And so does God.
I love Matt. I keep bringing him before the throne of God and praying for him. I will always do so. He is the man I choose to love and marry. YET as much as I love Matt God loves him even MORE. God really does. I have to remind myself all the time that HE is in control.