Re-learning My Story

Have you ever told yourself that everything is fine and nothing is wrong?  I know I have.  I have pretended life was great and nothing hurt me.  I lied to myself so long that I believed this to be true.  I had walls around me to protect me that were lies and were actually hurting me.

The first time I shared my story my heart was racing and everything in my mind screamed, “DON’T TELL!  IT ISN’T SAFE!”  You don’t know if they can be trusted with your heart.  You don’t know if they will go gossip about you.  You don’t know what will happen.

God whispered to my heart… “Share your heart.  Tell others what is inside.  You are not alone my beloved.  You are safe hidden in my love.”

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God began to crack those walls around my heart and slowly began sharing the hurts inside with a few trusted people, including a counselor.  Cracking those barriers around my heart hurt so much but in a good way.  For the first time I was dealing with hurts of my past.  I began to tell others my story.

I found grace and acceptance and LOVE in telling my story.  I found I was not alone.  Others were hurting like me and just needed to hear that they were not alone either.  I found that telling my story encouraged others.  I found that I was able to connect with others around me by sharing pieces of my heart.

I don’t just mean sharing my story up in front of crowds of people, although I have done that now.  Just sharing parts of my story one on one with someone means I have connected with someone.  In connecting and sharing my heart often others feel free to share their own hearts!

“When we tell our stories, the truth about our lives – the broken parts, the secret parts, the beautiful parts – then the gospel comes to life, an actual story about redemption.” Shauna Niequist

Telling the secrets I kept deep inside me, gave me freedom.  Sharing tears with others let others see the real me.  Sharing fun and great things that happened with laughter let others see the real me.  God brought redemption to what I kept hidden deep inside.  God was shown to me through telling my story. I have a recovery group I share my story with weekly

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Yet somehow even though I know this is the truth of what God has brought me through in my past, I found myself the last 4-6 months or so shutting down and forgetting this, even though I still told my group.  Overwhelming fears and flashbacks paralyzed me.  I was functional in that I could go to work and do my job but that was about it.  I shared, but realized I needed more help than I just they could give me.

I have sought out a new counselor.  It has been a rough journey, wishing for my old one back, but wishing him well in his new life at the same time.  I have begun to talk through my story once again with someone new.  I am re-learning sharing my story and connecting with God and others in ways I have not before.  Take a risk.  Share your heart with someone today.

What is your story?  Who do you share your story with?

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8 thoughts on “Re-learning My Story

  1. Dropping by from whitespace…

    Thank you for sharing your story. I know how hard it can be to tear down the walls you’ve built around your heart, having been working on that very thing myself lately.

  2. So wonderful to read about the process of your story. Having people to share it with is so affirming, comforting and freeing. Sending love across the ocean Katie. xoxo

  3. This post echoes my own, but you have given me new insights….written so well. Bless you on your journey of discovery and healing. Love the quote by Shauna Niequist too. So glad I stopped in….

  4. You touch a deep part of my heart. I so identify with you. I love what God whispered to your heart – “Share your heart. Tell others what is inside. You are not alone my beloved. You are safe hidden in my love.” My tears are flowing as it feels like I need to remember this. I love Shauna’s quote, too. Thank you so much for the hope you give, Katie.

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