Help Me in My Brokenness

Dear Jesus,

I have done lots of dealing with past issues in my life.  I have been in my recovery group for many years now and in counseling on and off.  You have shown yourself to me time and time again.  You have been there walking in the darkness with me.  You have been faithful to be there even during the times I don’t feel like you are there.

I am in that place again. Where I feel broken deep inside.  Fear rises suddenly and forcefully.  It overwhelms me when it happens. It comes from a place deep inside me, hidden from most people in the dark corners of my heart and mind.

If I say, “Surely the darkness will hide me
    and the light become night around me,”
even the darkness will not be dark to you;
    the night will shine like the day,
    for darkness is as light to you.  Psalm 139: 11-12 (NIV)

I know when I walk into the deep places inside me that seem dark that they are not dark to you. You are the light that shine in the darkest parts of my heart.  Help me to trust you in my brokenness.  Help me to have courage to walk with you in those dark places.

The servant grew up before God—a scrawny seedling,
    a scrubby plant in a parched field.
There was nothing attractive about him,
    nothing to cause us to take a second look.
He was looked down on and passed over,
    a man who suffered, who knew pain firsthand.
One look at him and people turned away.
    We looked down on him, thought he was scum.
But the fact is, it wasour pains he carried—
    our disfigurements, all the things wrong withus.
We thought he brought it on himself,
    that God was punishing him for his own failures.
But it was our sins that did that to him,
    that ripped and tore and crushed him—our sins!
He took the punishment, and that made us whole.
    Through his bruises we get healed.
We’re all like sheep who’ve wandered off and gotten lost.
    We’ve all done our own thing, gone our own way.
And God has piled all our sins, everything we’ve done wrong,
    on him, on him.  

 He was beaten, he was tortured,
    but he didn’t say a word.
Like a lamb taken to be slaughtered
    and like a sheep being sheared,
    he took it all in silence.
Justice miscarried, and he was led off—
    and did anyone really know what was happening?
He died without a thought for his own welfare,
    beaten bloody for the sins of my people.
They buried him with the wicked,
    threw him in a grave with a rich man,
Even though he’d never hurt a soul
    or said one word that wasn’t true.  Isaiah 53:2-9 (The Message) 

You have been broken.  You know the abuse I suffered.  You know the assaults I had happen.  You felt the betrayal and brokenness that I feel.  You have also provided friends who walk with me through all of this and they still love me and accept me.  Help me to depend upon you in my brokenness.   Help me to say not my will but yours.  Walk with me.  Hold me.  Give me your courage.  Give me your strength.

Love,

Katie

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10 thoughts on “Help Me in My Brokenness

  1. The only place to be in our brokenness is with Jesus. He alone is our healer. Although I don’t know the circumstances of your brokenness, He is sufficient for taking those broken pieces and making something beautiful.

  2. Your openness makes me sit still and pray for all of us in our broken places. And to thank Jesus for breaking to heal us. I love that you’re fighting the darkness with Psalm 139. Such a beautiful application. And a beautiful letter to Jesus that we can each take for ourselves. Thank you, Katie. You are a gift to the body of Christ.

    1. Lisa, I am grateful for you and your words that always encourage me and bring a smile to my face. Psalm 139 is my go to verses when life gets tough.

  3. Hi Katie. I’m so glad you’re back this week. Thank you for understanding my heart. Feeling that brokenness deep inside but clinging to Jesus as the Light and our Savior. I love how The Message puts it – “But the fact is, it was our pains he carried— our disfigurements, all the things wrong with us.” Thank you for blessing me today. Praying for healing and peace for you.

    1. Thank you for coming by and praying. I love the Message Bible. It says it just so sometimes. It is hard to be consistent with my writing currently, but I will when I can and when I am up to it.

  4. Praying for the breaking, that you will feel Him holding you, whispering love songs of truth and assurance…

  5. Katie, I understand the revisiting of the pain of brokenness and how incredibly alone we can feel. May you experience a unique palpable touch of His Presence, His comfort, His acceptance, His warmth, His lovingkindness toward you. May you be strengthened in your inner being as you persist in cries to Him for healing, strength and joy.

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