One Word 2014

sheiskatie

Inspired by Bonnie over at Faith Barista, I did something last week that is NOT me.  I invited some friends to come celebrate my birthday with me.  They were friends from my recovery group.  It wasn’t the actually day of my birthday, but it was the day we were free to come together and celebrate.

The fear I had was overwhelming, just inviting people to do something outside of my safe recovery group, even though those I invited were safe people.  Maybe they would all have to work?  Maybe the bad weather should cancel it?  I had some medical stress of a loved one just days before, so I almost cancelled it.  I take care of others, when I was a childcare provider, of my husband who has a chronic illness.  I take care of what needs to be done at work.  I don’t do things for me.

But I took the time to go and celebrate.  I had said, no presents, each of us pay our own check, including me.  We got to the place I picked out and it was closed.  So I waited outside in the cold and snow for the others to show up, since I had no way of calling, my cell phone was out of minutes.  I thought I had gathered all who said they were coming and we headed someplace else, a second choice.  I was disappointed, but decided to make the best of it.  We went and talked and just had some fun being together.  It came time to pay and my friends each took some extra money out and paid my bill.  I had gotten some things more expensive to treat myself.

I did not expect this generosity.  Instead of making a scene, I just said thank you.  I went home and started to cry.  I couldn’t figure out why I was crying at first.  Finally I realized I did not feel worthy of them paying for me.  Why would they want to do that?  Why would anyone want to treat me? I am not worthy of them loving me.  I am not worthy of the kindness shown.  I just did not feel like I was worthy to be loved by others in any fashion at all.  So often my own anxiety and depression make me feel so lost and alone.

Luke 15 is parables of things that are lost and the lengths the owners go to find them, a sheep, a coin, and a son.  Many of us know the story of the Prodigal Son.  Just picturing the Father running and hugging his son and then giving him a party because he was his son, no matter how he had messed up.  He was worthy just because he was his son and was home again.

“Now if we are children, then we are heirs—heirs of God and co-heirs with Christ, if indeed we share in his sufferings in order that we may also share in his glory.”  Romans 8:17 

“So you are no longer a slave, but God’s child; and since you are his child, God has made you also an heir.” Galatians 4:7

“At one time we too were foolish, disobedient, deceived and enslaved by all kinds of passions and pleasures. We lived in malice and envy, being hated and hating one another.  But when the kindness and love of God our Savior appeared,  he saved us, not because of righteous things we had done, but because of his mercy. He saved us through the washing of rebirth and renewal by the Holy Spirit, whom he poured out on us generously through Jesus Christ our Savior, so that, having been justified by his grace, we might become heirs having the hope of eternal life.” Titus 3:3-7

I was the lost sheep, coin, daughter. I am a daughter of Christ.  It is was hard celebrating me.  I learned it is ok to celebrate me.  So for the year of 2014, I am focusing on one thing, worthy.  I am worthy of all the good things, not just the bad things that happen.  I am worthy to be celebrated.  I am worthy of friendships that are close.  I am worthy of prayers and tears of others on my behalf.  I am worthy of celebrating.  I am worthy of dancing to songs in the middle of my kitchen if I feel like it (my friend does this a lot and I like that she celebrates).  I am worthy of love.  I am WORTHY.

Advertisements

36 thoughts on “One Word 2014

    1. You haven’t missed it. I am going to have it on Sunday. Hopefully I will see you and the twins at church, I actually have the day off. (only if one of them is NOT sick)

  1. Oh, this makes me happy. I LOVE your choice, Katie. It’s wonderful. You (me, all of us) ARE indeed worthy. God makes it so. And who are we to argue with his opinions? 🙂 I look forward to how “worthy” will play out this year. It’s going to be good, I just know it. I have a lot to learn about this myself.

  2. Visiting from FaithBarista, and glad to meet you! You are worthy of love because Jesus LOVES you! You inspire me, reignite in me the flame to love others, anyone, freely with his love. I wish I could randomly meet and love on you. I am a well loved child, who loves others. I have other issues, don’t get me wrong, but feedback from others is usually along the lines of, “You’re so loving.”
    Also, worthy resonated in me the chorus from Handel’s Messiah, “Worthy is the Lamb, who was slain…” not correctively (to tell you he alone is worthy) but inclusively (you are his so are in him, with him, most worthy because he loves). I hope you understand.

  3. Loving and being loved involves risk. Faith Barista has helped me to have the courage to take some risks too. The freedom found through this is such a gift. Thank you for sharing your story.

  4. This is such an encouragement. I too struggle to feel worth the effort others put into celebrating me on my birthday. So I make myself scarce and let it slide by without mention if I can help it. I will remember your words as that day comes close. Thank you for allowing your vulnerable moment be a source of inspiration for us.

  5. Hi Katie…Happy Belated Birthday! One more thought came to my mind after I finished your post…You are His flawless, excellent pearl of great price that He gave everything for…oh, how He loves you!

  6. I agree with thee others here. Although I have trubbel with feeling worthy to. But I know it is true deep in my heart. That we are beloved and worthy. Birthdayhugs för you!!!
    Elisabeth from Sweden

  7. Happy belated birthday, Katie! I hope your day was full of special blessings. Thank you for sharing your adventure. You are truly worthy since He died and arose for you. We have so much to celebrate in this adventure called life, and taking risks and allowing others to come with us sometimes opens us up for disappointments and hurt. But on the other hand, sometimes we receive unexpected blessings and support. So glad you took that risk and experienced joy celebrating your special day and that it was worth the risk. You are worthy to celebrate!

  8. Dear Katie, thank you for sharing. It took a lot of courage, trust, grace, doing what you did. I too am still struggling to wrap my mind around this indescribable love that defies all attempts to understand it. Yours was a beautiful story of learning to just accept with thanksgiving, the kindness and love that is being offered to us, something those of us so used to being on the giving end, have difficulty doing. I guess in the end, this is the best and only response we can give to such amazing, generous, lavish love such as God has shown us. Receive it and let him love us. I would imagine the Lord delights in treating His children, as we would our own (for those of us with children). So, from one January birthday celebrator to another, bountiful blessings and may you continue to receive more of what the Lord is pouring out on you through others.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s