My year of letting go has already had some challenges. My husband’s health, I want to control all that is going on. I want to be able to make sure he eats what is healthy. I want to make sure he is following everything the doctor says. I want to have him do everything just right.
Yet this is something that even if he does everything right he has no control over. He has a health issue that often happens. He could die one of these times when he has an episode. The truth is that he could die from so many other things that don’t terrify me like this does. What about if he got in a car wreck? I am not scared when he drive the car. What if? What if? I can not trust in “What if.”
I love him with all my heart and don’t want anything to happen to him. Yet the truth is that I can not control this. He can not control this. The only thing left to do is to trust God with my husband and his health. Yet it is a struggle for me to let go. I am having issues with accepting that I can not do anything, even though my head realizes this it isn’t in my heart.
Today on a calendar I got it says, “I WANT YOU TO LEARN A NEW HABIT. Try saying, “I trust You, Jesus” in response to whatever happens to you. If there is a time, think about who I AM in all My Power and Glory; ponder also the depth and breadth of My Love for you. This simple practice will help you see Me in every situation, acknowledging MY sovereign control over the universe. When you view events from this perspective – through the Light of MY universal Presence – fear loses its grip on you. Adverse circumstances become growth opportunities when you affirm your trust in Me no matter what. You receive blessings gratefully, realizing they flow directly from My hand of grace. Your continually assertion of trusting Me will strengthen our relationship and keep you close to Me.”
So today, in this circumstance that I try to control, with no success, I say “I trust You, Jesus.” I trust you instead of “what if?” I trust you to take care of my husband when I can’t. I trust you no matter what happens. I chose to trust you in the midst of fear. I chose to trust you in the midst of hard circumstances. Help me when I try to control. Help me when I forget to trust. Help me when fear seems so overwhelming I forget to trust. Help me to always trust you.